Full moon fail.

Umm... Stella, maybe you didn't get the memo. Last night was a full moon, and as previously discussed, now that we've officially reached full term, you have been cordially invited to your birthday party. Yet, you were a no-show; imagine my disappointment. I was totally ready nuzzle your sweet little head, kiss your perfect little nose, and count your ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. I could still do those things today... today is good, too. No? How about tomorrow?

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Okay, okay... so I know I haven't really earned any right to be this impatient or perturbed about Stella's impending arrival. I am just 37wks and 2 days still, and lots of women go as far as 42wks. I don't think my doctor would let me go that long, but just for reference's sake, that's how premature my anxiety really is.

Still, knowing that, I can't help but feel seriously, overly anxious, impatient, and perturbed that I'm still pregnant. I don't know if it's because my mommy instinct is telling me she'll be early, thus I'm sitting around expecting it to be today... or if it's because I'm so stinking uncomfortable that I don't know how much longer I can really go. I talked to a couple of moms this weekend who confirmed what I have experienced so far: second (and subsequent) pregnancies just get harder and harder on your body. I worked a full time, high-stress job during Henry's pregnancy, and I wasn't this run-down, sore, and uncomfortable all day every day in those last weeks.

I think I'm so expectant of her coming sooner, rather than later, that I've really built myself up and find it highly disappointing every morning I wake up still pregnant. In the grand scheme of things, I can find solace in knowing that most likely it will all be over no more than three weeks from now. Yet, I'm still borderline obsessing at this point about every change in my symptoms, and every cramp or contraction. The days between doctor appointments drag on, and then when an appointment finally comes, I go in hoping against hope that some progress will be evident. Tomorrow is my next appointment, and I'm not sure whether I'm looking forward to it or dreading it. I'm certain that I will be bummed if nothing has changed from last week, considering how many nights of uncomfortable contractions I've endured. Yes, childbirth is supposed to be painful... so I'm not simply complaining about it hurting. I'm just griping about how slowly things seem to be moving, and how inconceivable it is that this discomfort and pain isn't fruitful.

I went grocery shopping on Saturday and I actually wished my water would break as I waddled my way up and down the aisles. I'd sacrifice my dignity, at this point, to get things started. I'm beyond ready to meet my little girl, and am a little bit desperate for some relief.

1 cm closer!

Had an OB appointment this morning and I have to say I went in feeling rather optimistic for some news that things were happening. If what I'm experiencing physically is any indication, and if you throw in my intuitive belief that Stella isn't planning to wait until her due date, I just knew there would be some sign of progression. I tried to prepare myself for zero progress at the same time, just so I wouldn't be obviously disappointed when she told me Stella was renewing her lease.

The report is that my blood pressure is excellent, my physical miseries are normal for second and subsequent pregnancies, and it doesn't look like her arrival is super imminent. I'm dilated to somewhere between a fingertip and 1cm with no notable effacement. On the one hand, it's a real bummer. On the other hand, I know 36wks is still really too soon, and no matter how miserable I am, I don't want her to come until she's really done baking. 37wks is when most of the medical community agrees a baby is full term, so if we can make it just one more week, then I'll be drawing up the eviction notice to vacate the premises effective immediately.

With such good blood pressure, it's looking an awful lot like I'm not going to be induced. We're still going to consider her size at the sonogram scheduled for next Friday, but even today she measured at more like one week ahead instead of two - maybe because she isn't so big after all. This all leads to the realization and excitement that this labor and delivery might be a lot different than my last. With Henry, the induction was planned, and since my body wasn't really ready, it was a long, hard labor. It appears Stella's arrival is a secret known only to God right now. The day, the time, how it feels to actually go into labor on my own, and the anticipation of waiting for it... all makes for some real excitement. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it, I think. Labor won't be fun, but I think, now that I've been there and done that, I'm at least more prepared for it. I can better appreciate what a miracle it really is, and that at the end of something difficult, there is a true gift from God to hold in my arms. What a blessing.

My next appointment will be Tuesday. Anything could happen between now and then, so stand by!

2-year molars and 2 week wait...

I'm just going to jump in here as if I've not been MIA for four months... :)

Two weeks ago, my sweet little boy morphed into a tyrannical, moody little monster. He isn't sleeping well and his attitude just stinks. He gets so easily frustrated, and is super whiny-fussy about everything. It's been trying on my patience and has caused me to seriously reflect on my parenting and what I may have been doing wrong. I've seen other toddlers act this way, and I admit that I looked down my nose at those parents, thinking MY children would never behave that way. So, I've stood here dumbfounded at this sudden turn of events, wondering at which fork in the road I went astray.

In the midst of all that reflecting, I also applied some good old-fashioned problem solving. I had to do this a lot when Henry was an infant, unable to communicate when or why he wasn't sleeping or eating well. I noted that at around the same time his behavior changed, he developed a round of diarrhea and diaper rash. I noticed occasional rubbing or pulling at his ears, but with no fever. I noticed more frequent chewing on toys, fingers, or his shirt. Then it hit me - these are all his classic teething indicators. He's had all of his first year teeth for a handful of months now, so this could only mean he's cutting those dreaded 2-year molars. O' Happy Day.

I feel absolutely rotten for him. While he is acting rather rotten, I know it is because he isn't tolerating this misery very well. And, we're two weeks into this... with the possibility that we're not even close to the end. The cutting of these particular teeth can take days, weeks, or months, for some kids. He is still my darling, lovin' little boy, but he's hurting and just plain uncomfortable. I hate this. So, we'll keep up the ibuprofen as needed, and I'm offering him cold stuff to chew, like teething rings, a chilled wet washcloth, and crushed ice. And, we'll wait it out.

Meawhile, I am thrilled to update about our second baby. We're nearing the end - I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant now, and yes, I'm counting the days. Not long after my last blog entry, we learned that we are expecting a little girl. We've named her Stella Claire, and we are SO excited to meet her and have her in our arms. The pregnancy has really been uneventful - for which we are so thankful. I've been more uncomfortable this time than I remember being with Henry, but all the circumstances are different now. My blood pressure has been more manageable with this pregnancy - good news for all.

At my appointment last week, Dr. McMillion informed me that Stella was measuring 10-14 days ahead. Of course there is no exact science to that - she is basing it simply off of fundal height. However, it gives us reason to investigate. So, we scheduled an ultrasound for about two weeks from now at almost 38wks. We'll see just how big she is then, and though the doctor didn't say so explicitly, I think it was implied that we'll talk at that time about options, if we find she is in fact large. If she continues growing at this proportion, she'll be better than 8lbs at the sonogram, and could potentially be 9-10lbs by 40wks. Let's sing another chorus of O'Happy Day! I really hadn't been looking forward to another induction, but I'm also not too interested in birthing a sack of potatoes. So we wait for two more weeks and see where we stand. My instinct is telling me Stella isn't waiting for 40wks anyway. I think she's planning an early arrival, which is really alright by me.

Now, if I keep up some posting, I owe lots of pictures. Maybe I can make that happen.

Baby Update

We had an appointment last Tuesday and as they say, no news is good news. The first appointment is typically exciting and informative (ultrasound, comprehensive physical and blood work, etc.) but the next two or three appointments can be, well, uneventful. We were in and out in under 30 minutes, and that includes waiting room time, and taking time to ask Dr. M several questions.

I had not expected to be, but I was vaccinated for the regular flu at this visit. Immunity takes about two weeks post inoculation, so within another few days I hope to be better prepared to face the flu season which is already rearing its ugly head here in Texas. Zac reported that prescriptions for tamiflu are already coming through the pharmacy - a sign that the flu bug is biting. I also plan to get the swine flu vax once it becomes available later in October. Pregnant women are in a special risk category for this illness, and I don't want to risk picking it up, thus endangering myself or my family.

Otherwise, the appointment consisted of the usual: tinkling in a cup, getting on the scale, checking my blood pressure, and answering basic questions by the doctor about how I'm feeling. The highlight: finding baby's heartbeat on doppler. The heart rate was 155bpm and I have to say it's about the most amazing thing to hear. In these earlier weeks, before feeling baby, it's so nice to have that confirmation of well-being. It also is just a marvel to ponder that this little life is growing in there without my really being aware of it, physically.

I'm still awaiting baby to make his/her presence known soon. I'll be 14 weeks this Saturday, and that's just a three week difference from when I first noticed Henry moving at 17 weeks. I look for flutters to start any day now.

We made our appointments for the next regular check up and our next ultrasound. We'll see the doctor again on October 6th and will get another look at baby on October 27th. Look for an exciting post shortly thereafter - we'll be announcing the impending arrival of our SON or DAUGHTER!! So excited!

I am feeling better overall, thankfully. Still get a nauseous episode, but no more all-day yuckies. Heartburn is still daily, but I don't expect that to get better before it gets much worse, and for now the meds are still controlling it fairly well. I spent the first trimester baffled at my energy level; when pregnant with Henry, I was SO wiped out for the first few months, but have really not felt that drain until just the past week or so. Strange timing, but it would have been stranger to have really escaped it altogether. When you consider that my body is literally manufacturing another human being, it's all too understandable that I'd be dragging a little. It helps when I get to bed at a decent time - still working on that.

That's all for now - stay tuned.

Eleven and a half weeks, and finally some relief.

Do I dare say that I'm feeling better? If I do, am I risking the inevitable spike of nausea and indigestion that will mock and spite me? Is it possible that things are turning around this soon? I sure hope this is what it looks like. I'm still having a bad day here and there, but definitely more good days than bad. My biggest daily complaint is heartburn, but it isn't always presenting in its traditional form. Most days, I sport a nasty acidic taste in my mouth all day, which has resulted in raw gums due to profuse brushing. For about four or five days now I've had mild but annoying chest pain that I'm almost certain is just another version of heartburn. Tylenol does seem to remedy that, but it is back within the four hours of taking it. For now, I'm combating this foe with lots of Zantac and Tums, though the chalky aftertaste of the Tums is enough to make me gag most days. Sigh.

My next appointment is now under a week away. It will be mostly uneventful, but we will get to find baby on doppler. I'm looking forward to that little peace of mind. These long weeks between appointments in the early months, when it's too soon for physical confirmation of baby's wellness in the way of movement and kicks, make for some uneasiness. It'd be nice to have a window into the womb from time to time, just to check up on things. Good news is that I anticipate baby to make his/her presence known in the next few weeks. I felt Henry for the first time at seventeen weeks, and it's typical to feel movement earlier in subsequent pregnancies.

In so many ways, this pregnancy is just different. I was reading recently through my pregnancy journal for Henry and found that at 20 weeks I was still not really showing yet. I know it isn't all baby, but I already feel huge at 11 weeks this time. I can thank bloat and general tummy upset for that, I'm sure. I'm monitoring my weight here at home weekly, and as of last Saturday, I still hadn't gained from my last appointment - in fact, I was even down a pound and a half. Not sure how that's possible because my clothes are telling me I'm bigger. In fact, I'm pretty sure my denim shorts told me I'm a whale.

Where's baby?

This morning, I was sitting in the desk chair while Henry was playing. He came up to me and stood between my legs, which I decided became a good opportunity to talk about baby. He's not yet 14 months, so I know his understanding is limited if anything, but maybe getting used to hearing the word will make the transition less shocking. Here is what transpired:

Mama: Henry, did you know there is a baby in here? [points to belly]

Henry: [touches belly where Mama points]

Mama: your little brother or sister is right in here! [again, pointing to belly]

Henry: [looks at Mama, then again at her belly]

Mama: Henry, where is the baby?

Henry: [lifts up Mama's shirt and proceeds to look for baby; doesn't see him/her, so grabs the top of Mama's stretchy pants and pulls down; still no baby]

Mama: [giggling hysterically]


Henry has a lift-the-flap book called Where is Baby's Belly Button? On every page is a picture of a baby with some part hidden behind or under something, i.e. baby's eyes under the hat. He loves this book. On the last page, it asks, "Where is baby?" Baby is hiding under a blanket, and when Henry lifts this flap, we make a big deal: "THERE he is!" He knew if he kept lifting or pulling things, he'd find that baby Mama was talking about. *grin*

A peek at baby!

**I can't understand why this picture keeps uploading sideways, and I can't seem to fix it. So, forgive me for any strain incurred at the necessity of craning your neck in order to see it in it's intended orientation.**

Here is our first glimpse of the new baby. This was taken today at 8w5d. We had our first sonogram and OB appointment this morning. It was surreal to see the little "gummy bear" on the screen moving, his/her little heart just beating away (182bpm!). I think it's especially difficult to grasp this early, as it's too soon to know a baby is even there (except for all the nausea, heartburn, and digestive issues.) I was awe struck, and immediately felt humbled by God's miracle growing inside of me.

Henry went with us to the doctor's office. He elected not to take his nap beforehand, against my advisement and insistence (you can put a baby to bed but you can't make him sleep - you can quote me on that). I feared the worst, but of course he really is such a great baby and did really well considering. He wanted to run around, and so was squirmy when we were holding him, but he wasn't fussy or difficult. He even had to go longer than usual before lunch, and was such a trooper. I'm so proud of my little man. And, thankfully, he made up for his missed nap and took a nice long three hour siesta this afternoon. Rest time for Mama, too!

My OB says everything is measuring right on track and looks good so far. We're continuing with progesterone therapy for at least two more weeks. We'll do one more draw at that time and reassess. Meanwhile, I have another 4 weeks ahead of me before we get another status update. My next appointment is September 8. At that time I'll be almost 13 weeks and at the end of my first trimester. We won't see baby that day but we should be able to hear baby's heartbeat on the doppler. September 8th doesn't sound that far away, but I know the days will go slowly as long as I'm counting. And I will be counting. :)

My due date got bumped up a day to March 20 instead of 21. What I really think happened is that the doctor read the little dial correctly where the registrar didn't. I knew it was the 20th, but I didn't argue when I was originally told the 21st. What difference does one day make? This means I will be 9 weeks on Saturday. Woohoo!!

A new little pea in the pod!!

Yep - we're expecting again! If you hadn't guessed - or already heard - the "life changing event" I mentioned in a previous post is referring to learning of a new pregnancy. The newest little House will make his/her debut in March of 2010, God willing.

And, if you recall, that post mentioned how this life changing event has really consumed me over the past month. That couldn't be further from the truth. Between not feeling well most of the day and spending what little time I have online reading up on my pregnancy and baby info (like I don't still have it all memorized from being pregnant just a short time ago), I've completely neglected my blogs. I truly want to use this blog to sort of chronicle or journal about this pregnancy, so I need to step it up. I'm already 8 weeks in!

To answer some of the questions you might have...

* yes, we were trying; no, we really didn't expect it to happen so fast
* Henry and the baby will be 21 months apart if baby goes full term
* we don't have any gut feelings about what this baby is; Daddy thinks maybe girl but is mostly just basing that on how different this pregnancy is so far physically
* we will be over the moon about either boy or girl - can think of really good reasons to want either
* my first appointment is tomorrow, Aug. 13; we're having a sonogram also
* we've found that I am progesterone deficient again this time, so I'm taking supplements again
* we haven't really talked names yet; I doubt we will until we know the sex
* we should be able to know the sex sometime in late October

So far, I'm finding that I am having a hard time physically. This pregnancy is just different from my last. I'd say the prevailing symptom of early pregnancy last time was fatigue and mild heartburn (which progressed to violent heartburn as the months went on). I did experience some nausea, but I don't remember it being this miserable. I do also have heartburn - the last couple of days being really noticeable - but the most misery-inducing symptom for me this time is all-day nausea.

I am not typically a person who vomits. Very few times ever in my memory, with the worst case being a stomach flu in college. No matter how sick I feel, I never throw up, so I never get even a moment's relief. I'm not necessarily wishing I were vomiting, but I can't help but think I might feel better after doing so, even for a few minutes. It makes food taste funny, and makes my appetite and appeal for foods very volatile. Some days I'm hungry, others I'm not. Some days I can eat anything, but most days very little sounds good enough to eat. It hits really hard in late afternoon and evening, making it hard to cook supper a lot of nights. There have been several frozen pizza meals because it's all I can stomach. The icing on the cake is constant bloat/gas/general upset in the digestive system. Is it September yet???

Despite all this, we are very excited and very happy to be adding to our family. Stay tuned for updates!!