Full moon fail.

Umm... Stella, maybe you didn't get the memo. Last night was a full moon, and as previously discussed, now that we've officially reached full term, you have been cordially invited to your birthday party. Yet, you were a no-show; imagine my disappointment. I was totally ready nuzzle your sweet little head, kiss your perfect little nose, and count your ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. I could still do those things today... today is good, too. No? How about tomorrow?

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Okay, okay... so I know I haven't really earned any right to be this impatient or perturbed about Stella's impending arrival. I am just 37wks and 2 days still, and lots of women go as far as 42wks. I don't think my doctor would let me go that long, but just for reference's sake, that's how premature my anxiety really is.

Still, knowing that, I can't help but feel seriously, overly anxious, impatient, and perturbed that I'm still pregnant. I don't know if it's because my mommy instinct is telling me she'll be early, thus I'm sitting around expecting it to be today... or if it's because I'm so stinking uncomfortable that I don't know how much longer I can really go. I talked to a couple of moms this weekend who confirmed what I have experienced so far: second (and subsequent) pregnancies just get harder and harder on your body. I worked a full time, high-stress job during Henry's pregnancy, and I wasn't this run-down, sore, and uncomfortable all day every day in those last weeks.

I think I'm so expectant of her coming sooner, rather than later, that I've really built myself up and find it highly disappointing every morning I wake up still pregnant. In the grand scheme of things, I can find solace in knowing that most likely it will all be over no more than three weeks from now. Yet, I'm still borderline obsessing at this point about every change in my symptoms, and every cramp or contraction. The days between doctor appointments drag on, and then when an appointment finally comes, I go in hoping against hope that some progress will be evident. Tomorrow is my next appointment, and I'm not sure whether I'm looking forward to it or dreading it. I'm certain that I will be bummed if nothing has changed from last week, considering how many nights of uncomfortable contractions I've endured. Yes, childbirth is supposed to be painful... so I'm not simply complaining about it hurting. I'm just griping about how slowly things seem to be moving, and how inconceivable it is that this discomfort and pain isn't fruitful.

I went grocery shopping on Saturday and I actually wished my water would break as I waddled my way up and down the aisles. I'd sacrifice my dignity, at this point, to get things started. I'm beyond ready to meet my little girl, and am a little bit desperate for some relief.

1 cm closer!

Had an OB appointment this morning and I have to say I went in feeling rather optimistic for some news that things were happening. If what I'm experiencing physically is any indication, and if you throw in my intuitive belief that Stella isn't planning to wait until her due date, I just knew there would be some sign of progression. I tried to prepare myself for zero progress at the same time, just so I wouldn't be obviously disappointed when she told me Stella was renewing her lease.

The report is that my blood pressure is excellent, my physical miseries are normal for second and subsequent pregnancies, and it doesn't look like her arrival is super imminent. I'm dilated to somewhere between a fingertip and 1cm with no notable effacement. On the one hand, it's a real bummer. On the other hand, I know 36wks is still really too soon, and no matter how miserable I am, I don't want her to come until she's really done baking. 37wks is when most of the medical community agrees a baby is full term, so if we can make it just one more week, then I'll be drawing up the eviction notice to vacate the premises effective immediately.

With such good blood pressure, it's looking an awful lot like I'm not going to be induced. We're still going to consider her size at the sonogram scheduled for next Friday, but even today she measured at more like one week ahead instead of two - maybe because she isn't so big after all. This all leads to the realization and excitement that this labor and delivery might be a lot different than my last. With Henry, the induction was planned, and since my body wasn't really ready, it was a long, hard labor. It appears Stella's arrival is a secret known only to God right now. The day, the time, how it feels to actually go into labor on my own, and the anticipation of waiting for it... all makes for some real excitement. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it, I think. Labor won't be fun, but I think, now that I've been there and done that, I'm at least more prepared for it. I can better appreciate what a miracle it really is, and that at the end of something difficult, there is a true gift from God to hold in my arms. What a blessing.

My next appointment will be Tuesday. Anything could happen between now and then, so stand by!

2-year molars and 2 week wait...

I'm just going to jump in here as if I've not been MIA for four months... :)

Two weeks ago, my sweet little boy morphed into a tyrannical, moody little monster. He isn't sleeping well and his attitude just stinks. He gets so easily frustrated, and is super whiny-fussy about everything. It's been trying on my patience and has caused me to seriously reflect on my parenting and what I may have been doing wrong. I've seen other toddlers act this way, and I admit that I looked down my nose at those parents, thinking MY children would never behave that way. So, I've stood here dumbfounded at this sudden turn of events, wondering at which fork in the road I went astray.

In the midst of all that reflecting, I also applied some good old-fashioned problem solving. I had to do this a lot when Henry was an infant, unable to communicate when or why he wasn't sleeping or eating well. I noted that at around the same time his behavior changed, he developed a round of diarrhea and diaper rash. I noticed occasional rubbing or pulling at his ears, but with no fever. I noticed more frequent chewing on toys, fingers, or his shirt. Then it hit me - these are all his classic teething indicators. He's had all of his first year teeth for a handful of months now, so this could only mean he's cutting those dreaded 2-year molars. O' Happy Day.

I feel absolutely rotten for him. While he is acting rather rotten, I know it is because he isn't tolerating this misery very well. And, we're two weeks into this... with the possibility that we're not even close to the end. The cutting of these particular teeth can take days, weeks, or months, for some kids. He is still my darling, lovin' little boy, but he's hurting and just plain uncomfortable. I hate this. So, we'll keep up the ibuprofen as needed, and I'm offering him cold stuff to chew, like teething rings, a chilled wet washcloth, and crushed ice. And, we'll wait it out.

Meawhile, I am thrilled to update about our second baby. We're nearing the end - I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant now, and yes, I'm counting the days. Not long after my last blog entry, we learned that we are expecting a little girl. We've named her Stella Claire, and we are SO excited to meet her and have her in our arms. The pregnancy has really been uneventful - for which we are so thankful. I've been more uncomfortable this time than I remember being with Henry, but all the circumstances are different now. My blood pressure has been more manageable with this pregnancy - good news for all.

At my appointment last week, Dr. McMillion informed me that Stella was measuring 10-14 days ahead. Of course there is no exact science to that - she is basing it simply off of fundal height. However, it gives us reason to investigate. So, we scheduled an ultrasound for about two weeks from now at almost 38wks. We'll see just how big she is then, and though the doctor didn't say so explicitly, I think it was implied that we'll talk at that time about options, if we find she is in fact large. If she continues growing at this proportion, she'll be better than 8lbs at the sonogram, and could potentially be 9-10lbs by 40wks. Let's sing another chorus of O'Happy Day! I really hadn't been looking forward to another induction, but I'm also not too interested in birthing a sack of potatoes. So we wait for two more weeks and see where we stand. My instinct is telling me Stella isn't waiting for 40wks anyway. I think she's planning an early arrival, which is really alright by me.

Now, if I keep up some posting, I owe lots of pictures. Maybe I can make that happen.